Teary soulful sorrow

First things first!!!
VENT!!!

HATE HATE HATE HIM!!!
Made me cry today...not directly though..
Not sure why I did, really...
I wasn't even sure I actually like him at all...
I mean, I'd always feel he never really care about other people's feeling
You noe... and I can see that he just ignore his best friend sometimes..
And all he ever cared about is being this little perfectionist, going home to his nightlife friends and just talking and talking and talking to his many friends and just ignore the ones by his side...(I NOE I'M KINDA BIASED!!)

BUT...
When he'd even asked me why'd i get him a cake in the last message today...
I... just asked myself I guess...
And i guess i just wanna show him that I cared and appreciated him just being a friend......not all the time though.
And I just hoped he would appreciate me too...
And it hit me.
I kinda liked him being his own person and all that...
And always able to make me laugh...
(not just me though... obviously...everybody else as well)

I didn't answer that message..... I just need to ignore him i guess
I was driving all the way home and trying to wipe all the tears away...
Before I crash that is!
I just can't stop...
So I just stop by 99 Speedmart and wiped the last tear and bought an ice cream...
COMFORT FOOD ARE SO COMFORTING!!!

It was so unexpected that I would actually cry... Well...
Just before leaving campus, I was just joking around with Zi Qin and Syahira during lunch...
But seeing him there just buying his lunch in front of us at the indian stall and talking to his 'girl' friend....But never noticing us right behind.....is....
Just such a disappointing sight....
I noe I'll just never be completely sincere to him anymore... after today...
I noe I'll never ever will....I must hold this thought just .... very tightly...

Tried to be normal at home and just watched some latest TVB shows, Moonlight Resonance... I have to admit...it is some tension 'cat-fight' series.
Then I'd just played Fallout 2 til dinner.......... wasting my time away.....
Well... at least the morning event was no longer active in my mind for the rest of the day... I guess....until now...

Oh well... life has its ups and downs....
but my life definitely has more downs than ups though... real unfair sometimes...
It's never fair.....